90:10 Principle

Perhatian! Tak paksa korang baca sebab agak panjang entry nih. Almaklum lah, copy paste jek.

Discover 90:10 principle (or at least, the way u react to situations)

What is this Principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to u – destiny
90% of life is decided by how you react – incident

What does this mean?
We really have NO control over 10% of what happens to us.

Such: -
- We cannot stop the car from breaking down
- The plane will be late arriving which throws our whole schedule off
- A driver may cut us off in the traffic

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? It’s by your reaction. You cannot control a red light, however you can control your reaction. Do not let people fool you. You can control how you react. Let use an example.

You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse! You harshly scold your daughter for knocking your coffee over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup to close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storms upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been to busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late your drive 120km/hr in a 70km/h speed limit zone. After 15mins delay and throwing hundred ringgit traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20mins late, you realize you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
- Did the coffee cause it?
- Did your daughter cause it?
- Did the policeman cause it?
- Did you cause it?

The answer is YOU. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what cause your bad day.

Hence is what would have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you and your daughter is about to cry. You gently say “ it’s ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase and you come down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet your staff.

Notice the different?

2 different scenarios – both started the same & both ended in different ways. Why? Because of how you reacted. You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90:10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comments affect you. React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction result in losing a friend, being fired or getting stressed out.

How do you react if someone cut you off in the traffic?
- Do you lose your temper and pound on your steering wheel?
- Do you curse?
- Do you raise your finger?
- Does your blood pressure sky rocket?

If you were to react with of the above, on second thought, who cares if you arrive 10 seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90:10 principle and don’t worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. WHY lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time to find a new job.

You get hurt when your partner walked out from you. WHY lose appetite and make enemy with others? Turn your anger to be a power to motivate you to find someone new.

The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. WHY take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, read or get to know the other passenger and have a chat. WHY stress out? Stress will make things worse. Million of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches.

It only takes willpower to give our selves permission to make the experience. Absolutely everything we do, give, say or even think, it’s like a boomerang. It will come back to us. If we want to receive, we need to learn to give first, maybe we will end with our hand empty but our heart will be filled with love and those who love live have that feeling marked in their hearts.